I don’t want to be a person, or at least I never used to. Rin, Jay and I went into the city for the Howl Festival today and being surrounded by art and poetry just made me want to try writing things that are more in tune to how I feel than just trying to be creative as I’ve become accustomed to. I wrote something angry today. It’s not done, but when it is I want to publish it and I don’t care who reads it. If I have to be a person, than I’m going to need to express myself as a person and not just a writer. I’m afraid it’s all going to be sad and make my friends worry about me, but I guess that’s unavoidable when you’re hurting and have people care about you. I guess I’ll start right now. I’m going to write one single line about Paul.
“Tonight, I am horridly, horribly lonely.”
That wasn’t so bad, was it?
I’ve been here over two weeks (my friend Jen made that apparent when i called her yesterday to ask about a photo shoot with the band) and I haven’t seen anyone really from this town. I’ve just woken up, waited for hours and then gone to Rin and Jay’s place. I’ve seen Jimmy and Brandon at practice. One day Catherine was over. That’s about it. I find myself missing the people in my immediate area. I miss my little sis, I miss Jen, I miss Annalea, I miss Lauren, I miss other Lauren haha, I even miss someone I didn’t expect at all…then I consider college and I miss everyone there. I wanna hang out with Kalese and Roman and Pultz and UGHHH…I need to make time for people. Note to self: Make time for people.
Anonymous asked: tumblr has lost its mind.. they're actually giving stuff away though.. at tumblrmarketing(.)com
Yeah, I heard they’re giving away free spam!
…I just wrote lyrics that reference quite a lot of groundbreaking, history-making songs. I’ll post it once I have a title…until then, wanna see the list of songs I referenced??? No? oh…TOO BAD!
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It’s not my hair
It’s not my face
It’s not my body
It’s not my job
It’s not my time
It’s not my decision
It’s not my schedule
It’s not my vacation
It’s not my hobby
It’s not my idea
It’s not my slumber
It’s not my money
It’s not my home
It’s not my taste
It’s not my opinion
It’s not my life
Because I’m yours.
It sort of gives a new definition to selflessness. This one doesn’t have much of a positive connotation.
Me and Jimmy are brewing up something special. =) I’ll tell you guys about it soon.
And then he dives into them. He runs through gaseous colors around his liquid body. He lives in fantasy because he’s afraid that he’s supposed to lose his head. He thinks it’s going to fall right off. I don’t know who told him that but he’s far too scared to hop off the paper. Eventually his pen dries and his pencil breaks. He looks up at the world and he cries. He doesn’t feel right. The world doesn’t seem to fit him or maybe the other way around. He’s scared and he clutches his head as if it’s about to fly away. He hates his past and he hates his future. All he wants to do is draw.
I take the paper and I take his hand. I tell him that he has the present. He says the present isn’t right. I tell him that he gives it time, he can adjust. He has to face the world. He says he would rather just draw. I cut my finger and draw him a heart. I tell him that fantasy is inside of us. We have to face the world, but our heads don’t just fly off. I tell him not to be scared. There will be more drawings for him to draw.
We are humans dreaming.
-Paul Weyer <3
Months ago, I went to Centerville studios with a few friends to see Exemption and Vision Through Sound play a Christmas show. Exemption’s set was particularly special, since it was being videotaped. I just watched the full set which was released today on Centerville’s website. I have to say, watching myself in the audience react to what was happening on stage gives me a whole new perspective on how much I love music. It was that night that I swiped the setlist off the stage and got it signed to give to Rin as a gift. As I was getting it signed, members of each band I came to see pulled me aside to tell me how much they appreciate seeing me at their shows. I think I really want to relate to that feeling. I want to see someone react to my music while I’m performing and afterward I want to pull them aside and tell them how happy it makes me. I have friends my age and in the High School who have shown a crtain admiration to the band and that has only made me want to excel and be worthy of their praise. I may be into music for selfish reasons, but I want this band to really show support of the audience the way the audience supports us. If anybody from New York (hell, even Jersey) reads this and wants to see us live, find me a local venue and I’ll try to make it happen. I want you to hear us too. Message me and we’ll work together to make this happen whether it be by Summer’s end or in the future.
Love, Lucid
